Mistakes Make Magic

044: Catherine Guidry – On Being a Female Breadwinner

May 22, 2018

I’m Catherine.
A New Orleans based wedding photographer and educator. We are excited you are here and cannot wait to connect with you!.
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Today on the podcast, I am chatting with my husband, Brad, and the topic is ­­­how to be a breadwinner and still maintain a positive relationship! Today we will be talking about how we work through this dynamic, and more importantly the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned!

WHAT YOU WILL HEAR IN THIS PODCAST:

  • Sharing Tasks and Appreciating Non-Financial Contributions
  • Separating Business from Personal Life
  • The Importance of Feelings
  • Tips for Sharing Finances
  • Having a Family

Sharing Tasks and Appreciating Non-Financial Contributions

Just because your partner isn’t equally contributing financially doesn’t mean that they’re not equally contributing to the relationship in other ways. They could be grocery shopping, meal prepping, paying bills, running errands—all of the tasks that need to be done and you likely couldn’t do alone. Appreciate the things they do to support you and provide value.

No matter what you’re doing, you should share tasks. For example, say you’ve personally put a down payment on a new house. Involve your partner in tasks like selecting a home insurance policy. If they’re not knowledgeable about the importance of all of the factors that go into this, explain it to them! Opportunities like this provide a way for your partner to be part of these decisions in ways that aren’t financial.

Separating Business from Personal Life

When you’re the boss at work, it can be hard to shake that mindset once you get home. Make sure to talk to each other with respect and in a way that shows that you love each other regardless of your individual roles. Your marriage needs to be treated differently than a business relationship, so make sure you’re giving your spouse as much respect as they give you!

Make sure you’re spending time together outside of your work and outside of your individual roles. Have date nights! For us, we keep Sunday as our day to spend together. We ride bikes, spend time with family, whatever we want! No work and no emails. Just us. Check in and make time for each other, because it’s a great way to survive as a couple.

Importance of Feelings

Feelings are so important in any relationship, but especially in this case. Society puts so much weight on men being the bread-winner, but there are so many bad-ass women bringing in the money these days! So when talking with others or talking with your spouse, make sure he feels valued in all the ways that aren’t just money.

It is so important to never badmouth your spouse or talk bad about them when they’re not around. If others see how much love and respect you have for your spouse in the way you speak about them, they’ll love and respect your partner, too. If you’re truly frustrated with your partner about something, talk to them about it! Keep their reputation in the highest light.

Tips for Sharing Finances:

Brad and I decided to go all-in when we got married. We share all finances, all of our things, and all decisions. We have a shared account and everything that we make goes into that account. If either of us want to make a purchase over $100, we talk about it. We make sure to check each other with budgeting as well when one of us has been hitting the coffee shops a little too hard.

Another tactic is to allow each other a certain about of money each month to be used however they want to– no questions asked. You can either use that money on a lavish dinner or save a few months up for some shoes you’ve been eyeing. No. Questions. Asked. While one person makes more money, the other never feels like they can’t do something the other can because they’re not making as much.

Having a Family:

It IS possible to have a family when you’re the breadwinner. You just have to plan accordingly. Have a backup plan for your work just as you would if you were sick, and have money set aside for those months you plan to take off. You may also want to consider having a passible income like an education course or podcast. That way, you can make money while you aren’t physically providing a service.

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