I recently asked my grandmother how she got engaged; she was confused by the question.
“He asked me to marry him,” she responded, “and then we picked my ring out of a catalog.”
That simple gesture is far from the extravagant proposals we read about today!
The pressures of living up to the high standards set for engaged couples is more than ever before. Why? If I had to guess, I would attribute this primarily to social media and the ever-growing and developing wedding industry as a whole. I photographed my first wedding in the Fall of 2008 and over the past 12+ years I’ve witnessed weddings changing and growing alongside the pressures clients are facing.
In addition to the pressures surrounding the commitment of marriage itself, couples are now having to navigate the pressures of creating unique guest favors, lavish seating chart displays, creative ways to ask the wedding party to be in the wedding, matching getting-ready outfits, finding the perfect ring box, and the list goes on.
I’d like to share a few ways to focus on relieving yourself of those pressures so that you can focus on enjoying and remembering your wedding day:
1. Limit your time and exposure on social media.
With an unlimited amount of ideas and inspiration floating around the interwebs, it is a good idea to limit the amount of scrolling you are doing. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by certain people or accounts, unfollow them! You can also toggle the settings on your phone to alert you when you have spent more than your allotted screen time online. Social media is wonderful. But the saying is true that there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing!
2. Spend time discussing your own personal vision with your fiancé.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in doing what seems like the norm. Whether it be an aesthetic part of the wedding vision or a tradition everyone else is doing, I would suggest spending some time discussing all aspects of the day with your partner. What I have found makes weddings most special is when they are a true reflection of the couple. Couples always seem to have the most enjoyable day when they design and spend it in the way that most honors who they are as people. Spend time discussing your own unique desires and goals so that you are having the day you truly dream of!
3. Make decisions as a couple.
There are a lot of decisions that need to be made around a wedding. It may very well even be the first time you are making so many decisions together in such a short amount of time with your partner. Although you will have lots of opinions and ideas coming at you (especially from loved ones), always come back to one another. Remember this day is a celebration of your relationship and your love. As a result, I would encourage you to carve out at least one night per week to touch base and make decisions with one another, regardless of everyone else’s thoughts and opinions. Doing so will help to ensure you are not giving in to the pressures around you but rather designing a day you will forever cherish as your own!
Whatever your worries may be, just remember that this is YOUR day! Take a deep breath, be present, and most of all, HAVE FUN!
